


initials (jean x reader)

by hunterheichou



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, F/M, Fluff, High School, Insecurity, Jealousy, Modern AU, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Romance, Sequel, Teen Romance, Teenage Drama, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-22
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-27 03:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30116529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunterheichou/pseuds/hunterheichou
Summary: you never knew that insecurities would hit you this hard, especially when jean is thousands of miles away for his basketball match and you would be ending your senior year very soon.
Relationships: Jean Kirstein & Reader, Jean Kirstein/Reader, Jean/Reader, jean & reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a sequel to my one shot, ‘mentee.’ enjoy <3
> 
> Warning: usage of curse words, mild sexual content, drugs, and alcohol.

it had been a year since jean called you his ‘little girlfriend’ now (just because you were almost a foot shorter than him) and although it was tough to handle it at first due to his popularity among girls (and well, you were the type to get jealous), he always went out of his way to reassured you that you were his one and only.

he made everyone talk about the two of you since the final basketball match against trost high school. when he was getting ready to shoot his ball for a three-pointer, he called your name out loud and said, “this one’s for you,” which invited gasps from your side of school (not to forget trost high school’s side, as they were already talking about your school’s point guard the moment they arrived at the court). even mikasa widened her eyes and looked at you, who were trying so hard to hide behind your can of coke and sour patch pack. 

from that moment on, you began to get teased a lot, especially by your boyfriend’s teammates. mrs. zoe would also often teasingly call you ‘mrs. kirstein’ whenever they addressed you in class, that you began to think that his surname would look good on you. 

since he was your first boyfriend, he was your first time too. though, you knew that you weren’t his. you decided that you were ready on the night he met your family for dinner at a hotel. you followed him home after the dinner and went to his room just so you two could have a privacy that you so longed for. and that was when the scent of his cologne and his looks seemed more intoxicating than ever. 

he did not force you on it, though, which surprised him as you were the one to unbutton his white shirt first. “feisty, huh?” he smirked with his hot breath touching your lips. although your first time was sort of impulsive to you, every part of it was worth it, and your relationship with him just got more intriguing after that.

—

“do you want the burger or i can have it?”

jean asked, fazing you out of your trance as you looked through the glass walls of the diner. you chuckled and returned your focus to your boyfriend, who already finished his pancakes and bacon.

“what are you so hungry for?” you furrowed your brows, eyes still focused on the lean figure opposite from you. “coach hannes made us train so hard that we couldn’t have lunch,” he frowned.

his inter-school basketball tournament was about to begin again, and jean had been working harder than he ever did, as your school’s team lost against trost high school last year. this year, he was determined to win before moving on to college, as this was his “final contribution for our school,” you quoted him.

although you understood that basketball was his passion, your time with him was now limited. that was why whenever he had the chance to see you, he would. just like tonight, when he called to pick you up for dinner just to see your face and talk, because he needed to see you everyday before taking off for college, as both of you did not know if you would get the same college or not.

“well, you can have-“

jean’s face brightened up.

“half of it.”

he furrowed his brows towards you and pouted. “fine, still a burger anyway,” he took your burger and split it into half, almost effortlessly due to his strength. you laughed as you took your share.

*

you arrived in front of your house, and you could see your father watching the television from the window. you looked at jean, who smiled as he looked at you, his left hand tapping his steering wheel as he did so.

“i need to tell you something.”

your heart raced at that very sentence. you clenched your jaw and returned his smile, with your eyebrow perking up slightly.

“what is it?”

jean sighed, caressing your hair as he looked deeply into your irises. the fact that he had to delay his words made you feel like running away. anything could be on his mind, and you had no clue what it was.

“i have to fly over to georgia for my first game next week.”

you exhaled in relief, as it was not something you half anticipated it to be. you smiled and shook your head before reaching out for his strong cheekbones.

“okay.. and why the long face?” you asked.

“i would have to be away from you for four days. like, away away,” jean’s voice softened, his lips curved into a small pout. the distance was far, considering that you lived on the west coast and georgia was in the south. 

you shook your head, disbelieving the fact that jean kirstein was clingier than you could have ever imagined.

“just four days,” you reassured him, and he leaned towards your palm on his cheek to give it a peck.

“just four days,” he repeated your words and nodded, before unlocking the car to let you get inside your house.

—

“that’s it?” you asked jean as he got into the passenger seat of your car, after loading your dad’s range rover with his black suitcase. you could feel the car shaking slightly as jean made his entrance, considering how tall and buff he was. jean could’ve rode the bus along with his teammates, but he kept on begging you to send him off to the airport instead. 

“yep,” he smiled, resting his torso on the seat comfortably as he looked at you. you nodded before turning on the ignition. “let’s go,” you smiled, pressing the accelerator towards the airport, which was 30 minutes away from  
jean’s house. 

*

you wanted to accompany jean before he took off, but since you both saw your school bus as you drove closer towards the airport, jean decided that you should just go home, and that he would meet up with his coach and teammates.

“call me when you arrive,” you smiled in between the kiss that jean ignited. he was hesitant to pull away, but because time was envying the two of you, he gave one last peck before resting his forehead on yours. “mhm,” he nodded, his ashy blond strands brushing your temples as he did. he lifted his head slightly to kiss your forehead.

“i’ll keep you updated,” he smiled before getting out of your car to take out his suitcase from the trunk. when he was done, he waved and gestured for you to go, since it was already 9 pm and he wasn’t fond of you getting home late, especially when you had no one to keep you company.

your heart felt heavy as you departed from your boyfriend. “just four days,” you whispered to yourself as you eyed him from the rear mirror, still waving towards you as you drove away from him, opening the distance between the two of you yard by yard.

“kirstein. departure hall,” coach hannes shouted, gesturing his player to join his teammates. jean jerked his head up to see if you were really gone, and when he was definite that you were, he turned his back towards his coach and nodded. 

*

at around 1 am while you were getting your homework done, your phone rang and showed a text from jean. you took your phone and read it.

‘i’m here, baby. good night <3’

you smiled stupidly in front of your phone, imagining his face if he said this to you right now. you replied with a ‘good night and take care, jean’ before continuing to stress over another calculus question.

—

you silently ate your caesar’s salad as your parents talked about college. your parents were excited about it, but you felt otherwise. you were scared of all the possibilities that would come with college, like being far from home, meeting new people, choosing a major, and the fact that you might not be in the same college as he would.

jean had already received a letter of scholarship from UCLA a few months ago, and you could tell that he would accept it, from the gleam in his eyes when he talked to you about it during lunch break in school. he was thrilled to say the least, for being able to be a part of UCLA’s Bruins. this was a huge chance for him to really make basketball his career, and you were in no way taking that happiness from him. you knew that his love for basketball came after his love for you; which meant a lot. 

your father called your name, and you lifted your gaze to meet his. “yes, dad,” you answered. he smiled, taking a bite of his steak as he eyed his only daughter. 

“how does NYU sound?” your father asked, an eyebrow perking up as he anticipated your answer. you sighed, slowly chewing on your salad before you swallowed it to speak.

“jean’s going for UCLA,” you monotoned. your parents exchanged glances, indicating that they probably knew you would mention about jean. your father was aware of jean’s scholarship, as jean talked about it when he was asked about his future during the dinner at the hotel with your parents. 

“we know sweetheart, but NYU is great. after all, both of us were in NYU, remember?” your mother forced a grin as she spoked. you pursed your lips and diverted your eyes towards her. 

“i remember,” you deadpanned. your parents knew that this would not be easy, because they were aware of how inseparable you were from jean and vice versa. at first, they were skeptical of jean as they knew that jean was popular among girls. however, after seeing how he always would make time to see you every day even after he had an extensive training routine, they knew that jean had an intense love for their daughter.

“cupcake, i know it would be hard. but if jean really loves you, he would try to see you when he has the time, right?” your father tried to convince you. your breaths now seemed forced, as you thought of the possibility of breaking up, moreover when you would be in the east coast while him in the west. that would take a long flight and a lot of money, and even if jean would be willing to do it, you wouldn’t have the heart to allow him to. he wasn’t from a wealthy family, he was just like you; someone who lied somewhere in between. 

truth be told, you knew that there was a possibility of jean to move on. you somehow felt it, although you always denied yourself while you thought about it. because, let’s be real, jean could get any girl he wanted, so if he would be in UCLA where so many hot girls would surround him, why would he stay with you? 

you sighed, trying to suppress the tears that were ready to turn your salad into soup. 

“i’ll think about it,” you gave a thin smile as you answered your father. he simply nodded before returning his focus to his steak.

“just try to talk it out with jean, okay?” 

you nodded at your father’s sentence as you nonchalantly chewed on the shredded chicken from the salad. 

—

“how’s your place?” you asked, beaming at the sight of your boyfriend, whose mouth was full with chicken tenders he ordered from chick-fil-a. jean stood up and showed you around the living room of the airbnb his team had rented for four days. it was a three-story house with a modern yet cozy interior. you could distinguish connie; your boyfriend’s sidekick, reiner, bertholdt, and some other guys who were in jean’s team.

“it’s cool, but there’s no you,” jean pouted, making you roll your eyes and smile. “how about your room?” you raised your eyebrows. “oh yes,” he nodded before walking up the stairs, taking just 30 seconds to reach the next floor due to his long legs. 

he showed you a bedroom that was just the size of what a regular bedroom should be, with a queen-sized bed placed in the middle of it, a dressing table and a three feet drawer next to the entrance of the bedroom door, a 42” television hanging on the wall opposite the bed, and a door which you believed would lead to the bathroom. there was a window on the opposite of the entrance door, and an air conditioner placed on top of it. 

you could see jean’s familiar suitcase resting beside the nightstand, and you figured that he had the room to himself.

“you aren’t sharing this room with anyone else?” you asked. jean shook his head, he was now able to speak as he finished all his chicken tenders just a minute ago. “i reached this room first and treated them chick-fil-a in order to keep this to myself,” he said proudly. you chuckled, remembering the sight of the chick-fil-a paper bags on the dining table at the living room. “so that’s why you’re having chick-fil-a for dinner,” you smirked.

“yep,” he grinned and nodded, resting his head on the pillow of his bed as he eyed you through his phone screen.

“how about you, baby? how was your day?”

and with that question, your smirk faded. you wanted to talk to jean about this, but at the same time you didn’t know where to start. you sighed as you brushed your hair with your fingertips, and jean knew something was up.

“baby, you okay?” he asked, voice softened as he noticed the change in your mood.

you took a deep breath before thinking of the right words to ignite this topic.

“jean, what do you think if i go for NYU?”

jean’s jaw clenched at your words, he chewed on the insides of his cheeks as he looked at you, sighing. 

“if you like NYU, go for it baby,” he forced a reassuring smile. deep down, you knew he was disappointed. after he had told you about his plans with UCLA, he did give out vague signs for you to join him. from the way he said “when we’re in LA, you and i can visit the staples center,” you knew that he had you on his mind when it came to college. but now, things probably would not become reality.

you shook your head as you sighed. “i wanna be with you,” you said, tone so low, jean knew you enough that you really did not want that to happen.

“we’ll work this out, don’t you worry,” he called out your name towards the end of his words, convincing you that long distance wouldn’t have a chance towards you and him. 

you nodded slowly, eyeing him through your phone screen. if only he was here, you would have ran into his arms and buried your face in his chest. you knew that he would be able to live through that distance you might share, but you weren’t sure if you would be, too. 

throughout your life, the closest person to you next to your parents was mikasa, and mikasa also had a plan of her own. she was aiming for MIT, and you knew she could do that; she was an einstein in your eyes. so if mikasa would head over to massachusetts, you would only have jean by your side, and now there was a possibility that you would be away from him too.

you lifted your head to look at the clock hanging on the wall of your bedroom, which showed that it was 12 am. you had checked the time difference between your place and atlanta, and jean should’ve went to sleep by now. 

“shouldn’t you go to bed, jean?” you asked. he pouted as he heard your words, and you couldn’t help but to chuckle at his unwillingness to hang up on you.

“my training session is at 3 pm,” he said defensively. you smiled, eyes locked on his wet ashy blond hair, as he had just finished showering before he decided to give you a call while eating his dinner, as he “was so hungry i could even eat coach hannes.”

“and you voluntarily want to do 200 push-ups because you might be 5 minutes late to your last training session before the game?” you squinted, and when jean sighed, you knew that it was a sign of surrender.

“fine.. not like you wouldn’t like to see me doing push-ups, anyway,” he smirked teasingly, his right hand pillowing his head as he spoke, and you couldn’t help but to feel the butterflies in your stomach going wild when you noticed his large bicep. in order to hide your nervousness, you rolled your eyes as a response instead. 

“good night, jeanboy,” you sang, inviting a grunt from him which made you laugh genuinely for the first time today. the first time you heard his mother call him ‘jeanboy’ when you followed him home a few months ago, you would not stop teasing him about it when you reached his bedroom. as a sign of protest, he gave you a silent treatment for 15 minutes, until he decided to make up with you again by tracing kisses all over your face and neck. 

upon hearing your laugh, jean was relieved as he knew that you felt better. he smiled and shook his head. “good night,” jean smiled, singing your name at the end of his sentence. “sleep well, jean,” you scrunched your nose as you responded to his wish. he nodded.

upon ending the facetime call with jean, you placed your phone on the nightstand. your stomach grumbled, sighing as you thought of the chicken tenders jean had while facetiming you just now. as you heard your mother calling out your name and saying that the thai food she ordered had arrived, you practically jumped out of your bed, impatient to devour the fried rice that you could already smell from the upstairs.

—

right after training ended at 7 pm, connie, reiner, and bertholdt decided to drag jean along to cumberland mall, a mall which was just 10 minutes away from the court that their team had rented for practicing. 

jean was dying to get to bed, as coach hannes was even stricter today. if any mistake was done, he would make the players run 70 laps around the area of the court, and that was why everyone felt so drained today. jean knew that their defeat last year disappointed the older man, but his method in coaching was extremely autocratic, that jean felt like giving up basketball and working at a fast food restaurant instead, just a few hours ago. 

“why are we going there?” jean asked, yawning as he was sandwiched between reiner and bertholdt in the uber. connie eyed him from the rear mirror. “if you want to have shitty cafeteria meals as your dinner, you’re welcome to go home,” he monotoned, and jean grunted at his best friend’s sarcasm. 

connie was right. jean was in fact tired, but he also didn’t want to go to bed with just some trash-worthy sandwich as his dinner, especially when tomorrow would be the big day. he unlocked his phone to see a text from you, asking if he was done with training an hour ago.

“just finished 10 minutes ago, baby. heading to the mall now for dinner,” he replied. just within two minutes, you responded to his text.

“alright, eat well! also, i won’t be able to call tonight, chem quiz tomorrow.”

he sighed upon reading your text. when days like this would come, he needed you to accompany him so he could sleep soundly. but since he knew that you were someone who took your studies seriously, he did not want to get in the way.

“alright, baby. good luck ;)”

upon locking his phone, the uber arrived in front of the main entrance of the mall. all four of them split the fare and tipped the driver before heading inside to find a chinese restaurant bertholdt had googled on just now. 

*

dinner was heavenly for jean, that he felt as if his abs were fading due to how full he was. that’s okay, he would do 70 push-ups as soon as he would reach their airbnb soon. after dinner, they decided to walk around the mall and see if they could get anything as a souvenir. it wasn’t like californians like them would get to visit atlanta often, and they all agreed to get something for themselves, their family members, or even their girlfriends.

bertholdt, reiner, and connie practically drooled when they saw a huge sports outlet with a standing signboard in front of its entrance, which had ‘50% OFF SALE’ written on it in bold red. the sports outlet was just a few shops away from where they were standing. “what happened to souvenirs?” jean questioned, perplexed by his friend’s reaction. 

“screw that. i wanna see if they have those obsidian air jordans so i can wear them for the game tomorrow,” connie said, half sprinting towards the sports outlet, followed by reiner and bertholdt. jean rolled his eyes, hands reaching for the inside of his sweatpants’ pockets for warmth. he continued his walk in hopes that he would come across a souvenir shop, and he lifted his brow as he saw a stall located in the middle of the mall, offering customized jewelry.

he walked over to the stall, and was instantly greeted by the middle-aged lady who was a saleswoman there. there was no one else hanging around the stall, so he figured that he should be able to have his orders made quick. 

“hello, young man. we make customized jewelry. rings, bracelets, necklaces, and even hand chains for men like you,” the lady smiled, eyes watching jean as he looked at the samples presented upon him. there were rings with initials printed on them and necklaces with names as their lockets. there were also bracelets with shapes like stars and planets as their pendants. he immediately thought of your initial and his.

“how much time would you take for initials?”


	2. Chapter 2

everyone was worn out as they lied on the l-shaped sofa facing the tv. they had just returned from the mall, after hours of waiting for connie to pick the right colorway of the air jordans he wanted to wear for the game tomorrow.

jean was switching channels on the tv, when bertholdt suddenly shouted.

“oi, stop! go back!” he gestured towards the tv, and jean rolled his eyes as he went back to the channel bertholdt wanted.

“grey’s anatomy? seriously?” reiner asked, leaning on the sofa as he chugged a generous amount of water down his throat. 

jean chuckled as he took his phone out of his pocket. he saw a text from you, and his lips immediately formed a smirk.

“good night, jeany. and break a leg tomorrow!” 

jean’s mind took him to the match that he would go through tomorrow, where your school would be facing rose high school for the first game. he sighed as he typed out his reply to you,

“good night, boo. thanks <3”

and with that, jean decided to walk upstairs and call it a day.

—

after you parked your car next to eren’s ford, you turned off the ignition and opened the car to greet eren, whose arm was wrapped around mikasa’s shoulder as they leaned on his old navy colored truck. 

“what’s up?” eren called out, mentioning your name towards the end of his sentence. you shrugged and smiled after reaching for your backpack on the passenger seat. you swung your backpack on your shoulders before locking your car.

a group of sophomore years walked by, and the three of you could point out that they were talking about the basketball game between your school and rose high school in atlanta. upon hearing this, mikasa and eren’s attention turned to you.

“oh yes, jean’s game is tonight, is it not?” eren asked. “yeah,” you smiled, walking with them towards the building of your school.

“when is it?” mikasa asked, head turning to her left to look at you. 

“i think 12 pm? which is 3 pm in atlanta,” you nodded, and both of them exchanged ‘oh’s to your response.

“hope we win, this time,” eren perked an eyebrow and you nodded. “our team has been working hard. i believe they will,” you simply said, smiling. 

as you reached the class for your first period, you exchanged ‘bye’s and ‘see you’s with the couple before taking out your phone from your pocket. jean had not texted, which indicated that he was probably still asleep. you typed out a text, smiling as you thought of him.

“good morning, jean. good luck for today! <3”

as you were ensured that your message was delivered, you slid your phone back inside the pocket of your jeans before heading inside the classroom.

—

jean looked at your text as he prepared himself for the match; taking his jersey, a water bottle, his giorgio armani cologne, some toiletries, a bottle of isotonic drink, socks, and shoes in his backpack. he smiled, thinking of you who were probably stressing on your chemistry quiz at the moment. it was 12 pm now in atlanta, and coach hannes already called the captain of the team to make sure that everyone was ready for brunch. after that, the team would head straight to rose high school. 

he took a selfie of himself smiling before typing a message out to you saying, “morning, thanks baby. i’ll text you when it’s over ;)”

once the selfie and message were delivered, he slid his phone inside his gray sweatpants and headed outside the airbnb, where the school bus was already waiting to be packed by the team players.

*

upon having brunch at a diner located just several blocks away from rose high school, the team took off to their opponent’s home at around 1.30 pm. they were instructed to gather in the changing room while listening to coach hannes’ last minute instructions. 

“springer, take off your damn airpods so you don’t make the same mistake you did last year,” coach hannes sternly ordered, his arms folded across his chest as he eyed each player carefully. 

“c-coach,” connie hastily nodded, slowly removing his airpods from his ears before keeping them in their case. jean rested his chin on his hand as he processed every word uttered by his coach. 

“remember, start with a 2-3 zone, and if things get nasty, use the 5-out motion. take the ball, steal the ball for as often as you can. and it doesn’t matter what your position is, if you have the chance, shoot your shot. don’t wait. don’t fucking wait, goddamnit,” coach hannes furrowed his eyebrows and ruffled his hair. everyone looked down as they nodded in silence towards their coach’s action. 

as a point guard, jean had to make sure that he’d pass the ball to the right people, who were his teammates. this was a mistake he did last year when he was against trost hawks and allowed them to score a three-pointer. it was still a bitter memory lingering in his head every other day. he could bet money that coach hannes still thought about it too.

after the briefing ended, coach hannes instructed them to take a rest and calm themselves down so they would not freak out to face rose jaguars, rose high school’s basketball team. jean decided to plug his earphones in and listen to some songs as he imagined his match, which would be coming in just an hour and fifteen minutes now. 

having faced the jaguars a year ago, jean was sure that they could win again against them this year. however, he was still afraid if he would do the same mistakes he did last year. how could he be so careless? losing the ball while he was certain that there was no one in the way? 

jean knew that these negative thoughts would just affect his performance later, so he decided to lie down on the bench in front of his locker as he sighed. ‘it’s gonna be okay,’ he thought to himself as he closed his eyes and listen to the song playing in his earphones.

*

jean glanced at the giant digital scoreboard on the wall of the court. his team had scored 60 while the jaguars had scored 61, and they were only five minutes away from ending this match now.

jean breathed hastily as he carefully eyed the ball, which was in floch forster’s possession. forster dribbled the ball crossover style, before attempting to pass it to his teammate, porco galliard. even though galliard was in front of jean, his shorter figure allowed jean to interpret every move forster made. this allowed jean to grab the ball quicker than it could reach galliard. and now, jean dribbled the ball as he aimed for his teammate, bertholdt; the shooting guard of his team. 

as he dribbled the ball in a between-the-legs crossover manner, jean nodded towards bertholdt, whose eyes were not diverting their focus from the ball. when jean when certain that bertholdt’s focus was unfazed, he passed the ball towards his teammate.

bertholdt then began aiming for the opponent’s hoop. now, he only had 24 seconds to make a shot. 

24.. 23.. 22..

standing right on the three-point line, bertholdt held his breath. his sweat forming in between his dark hair strands as he tried not to break his attention from the hoop.

20.. 19.. 18..

bertholdt’s determination soared as he threw the ball towards the hoop belonged to the jaguars. 

and within seconds, they could hear coach hannes shouting in victory. 

jean and his other teammates flocked bertholdt with grins and smiles on their face. with the scoreboard changing the marks to 61 (home) - 63 (away), the whistle was blown to signalize that the match was over, and after what seemed to take forever, victory was eventually on your school’s side.

—

upon celebrating the victory with coach hannes at an italian restaurant, jean’s team went back to their airbnb to celebrate the win their way, with the cans of beer connie bought from the mall last night. 

“i wish there are some joints. i need a fucking break,” reiner said, sipping his beer as he leaned on the sofa.

“relax. i have some other things to celebrate with,” connie winked before making his way to the kitchen to take his second can of beer. jean shook his head and smiled, drinking on his isotonic drink as he refused to consume any alcohol tonight. their flight would be tomorrow, and jean didn’t want his hangover to get in the way of the errands that he would have to run tomorrow.

the doorbell rang, and everyone had a perplexed expression on their face as they looked at one another. “get it, jean,” reiner deadpanned, eyes on the tv as he drank his beer. jean rolled his eyes and grunted, before walking towards the door to open it.

in front of him were two girls, one blonde and one brunette with thick makeup on their faces. they were wearing khaki and brown coats respectively, with no pants to warm their legs up. they also had four-inch heels as their shoes. 

“hey handsome,” the brunette smirked, pressing jean’s chest with her manicured index finger as she made her way inside the house nonchalantly. the other girl followed her as she walked inside, inviting gasps and ‘whoa’s from the other boys aside from jean.

“connie,” jean whispered knowing this was surely his friend’s doing. no wonder he mentioned about “some other things to celebrate with” just a few minutes ago. 

“yes, connie invited us over to entertain you boys. congrats on winning by the way,” the brunette girl winked, unbuttoning her coat to reveal a crimson red lingerie, which left jean and the other boys’ mouths jarred open.

“connie!” jean shouted, turning the whole house silent in just a blink of an eye. his face was red from infuriation as he watched connie walk over towards them, a smile plastered on his face as his hand firmly holding on the can of beer. jean could figure that connie was not as sober anymore, judging from the way he walked towards the living room.

“relax jean, your girlfriend isn’t here,” connie said sarcastically, taking the hand of the brunette girl as he guided her to the sofa. this was a terrible way to celebrate, and connie knew it; of course he did, they were technically minors anyway. and jean wouldn’t have cared if this was a hotel and he was in a different room, but that was not the current situation. 

“hottie has a girlfriend? sucks,” the blonde girl, who had a black laced lingerie, placed her hand around jean’s waist as she walked around him. with minimum strength, jean pushed her to the sofa, making the blonde girl grunt in a teasing way as she smirked towards him.

“don’t let her ever see this,” jean deadpanned, walking over to the staircase hastily as his hands formed into a pair of fists. he knew that even if he was not involved, you would be insecure of this matter.

having been dating you for a year now, jean figured out that you were jealous of almost every girl who were not related to jean, if they dared to approach him or talk to him. even if a girl would keep her distance weirdly close to jean, you would pull a long face and distant yourself from him as a sign of protest.

instead of being angry towards you for your behavior, jean decided to understand instead, because you never had a boyfriend before. and now that you did, your boyfriend was always in the school’s limelight and you could never run away from the girls looking in his way.

one time, you threatened jean for a break up because a girl could not stop posting snaps of him while he was training. the girl was a cheerleader of your school, and you also always noticed how she would greet jean whenever he walked past her, and this infuriated you to a level you thought you couldn’t obtain. and you did not ask for a break up because you thought it was jean’s fault, but it was due to the fact that you could not withstand the anger you were feeling. 

you were tired of feeling tight in your chest the whole day that you couldn’t fathom a thing that you were studying on, so you decided to call him about it. of course, jean rejected the request. and since he figured out your level of jealousy, he tried his best to avoid any girl who would seem suspicious to you and make you insecure. some people would think that you were toxic, but in reality, jean was just ‘that’ attractive. you could bet money that if he were to offer himself to every girl in the school, no one would turn him down; except mikasa and the gay ones, of course.

“oh, she will,” connie smirked with a cynical tone in his words as he watched jean walking up the staircase. he took out his phone to begin recording the sight of the brunette girl lap-dancing him and posted it on his snap story. 

*

jean scrolled through the list of flights heading to LAX from atlanta tonight, and he was still reluctant on whether or not should he do such impulsive thing like this. it was already 2 am, and most flights had already made their trip by 12 am. 

jean sighed as he ruffled his hair. he saw a text popping on his screen, and it came from you. ‘at least one good thing happening right now,’ he thought.

“congratulations, jean. i’ll treat you when you get back ;)”

jean smirked as he read your response to his previous text message, in which he told you that he had won the game. jean couldn’t help but to think of you as he read your messages over and over again. he wanted to return home so he could see you, and get away from all this bullshit, especially when that bullshit could take you away from him.

“fuck it.”

jean muttered, pressing on the ‘book a ticket’ button of a flight heading to LAX at 6 am.

—

“i need a break,” you sighed, closing the calculus book aggressively as you lied on your bed. your comforter felt extra warm tonight, making you feel as if you could drift off to bed instantly.

“hey, what happened to ‘stay here until 3 am so we can study’?” mikasa frowned, grabbing her phone and unlocking it immediately. 

“we did like- 20 questions already. we deserve a break,” you uttered. you watched the fairy lights hanging on the walls of your room as you yawned. 

“hey look, connie hired strippers to celebrate their win,” mikasa giggled as she held out the phone to you. immediately, you rose from your sitting position when you heard the name ‘connie,’ your boyfriend’s best friend.

the video playing before you had you stunned. you recognized the background to be the living room of the airbnb that jean stayed at, and insecurity already had the best of you in a matter of seconds. you kept asking mikasa to replay connie’s snapchat story, trying so hard to see if jean was seen in any part of the video.

“i don’t think he’s in this video,” mikasa reassured you, voicing out your name softly as she identified the anxious expression on your face. 

“he’s in the house, though,” you said simply, eyes looking away from mikasa’s phone screen. you heart was trembling at the sight of the video your friend had just shown you, and now you knew that you wouldn’t be able to let go of this before hearing it from jean himself, face to face. the problem is, he would not leave atlanta until 3pm tomorrow. 

your notification alarm rang as a text message popped on your phone screen. the name ‘jean’ appeared, and you turned your phone upside down, refusing to look at his text. a part of you knew he was not guilty, but another part of you was too insecure, that you started to get pissed off only by seeing his name.

*

before you even knew it, you fell asleep on your bed with your books and stationary around you. you woke up due to the irritating pain of a sharpener, biting your back while you lied on it. you saw a blue colored sticky note pasted on top of your calculus book, and knew immediately that it was mikasa’s handwriting.

“you fell asleep so i couldn’t bear to wake you up. take care, love you.” 

you sighed as you eyed the sticky note carefully. the clock on your bedroom wall showed that it was 8 am, and you lied back on your bed upon realizing that it was a sunday.

within minutes, you remembered the scene that took place just nine hours ago before you dozed off. instantly, you felt the anger within you igniting once again. 

you took your phone to reveal four text notifications coming from jean, but you still could not bring yourself to read his texts, as you knew that it wouldn’t do you any better. instead, you would only reply to him sarcastically, which would obviously invite suspicions from him.

the scent of pancakes travelled through your nose, and your stomach began to churn as a response. you lazily threw yourself up to get to the bathroom and brush your teeth, so you could devour the pancakes your mother was making downstairs.

*

“morning, sunshine,” your father greeted with a cup of coffee in his right hand. you nodded and waved, pulling one of the chairs of the dining table out so you could sit.

“coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?” your mother asked. she was wearing a green apron with black polka dots all over it; an apron she always wore whenever she would be in the kitchen.

“hot chocolate,” you smiled thinly. a small dose of dopamine coming from the chocolate would probably reduce your sadness, you thought.

“so.. your school won the match yesterday, right?” your father asked, tapping his fingers on the marble dining table as he anticipated your answer. you slowly nodded, not wishing to proceed with the topic, as you knew it would just lead on to him.

“how does jean feel about it?”

sigh. you silently rolled your eyes at your father’s question. it was not like you didn’t want to answer his question, you just didn’t want to think of jean. but as you were concerned that you would come off as rude to your father, you replied anyway.

“he was happy, i think.” 

with the deadpanned expression coming from you, your father decided not to continue the topic. he nodded as he stood up to grab the fork and spoon from one of the kitchen counters.

the doorbell rang, and your father immediately walked towards the front door to get it. you perked an eyebrow, wondering who that might be. even if it was the delivery man, it would be rare for them to deliver any parcel at this hour.

“oh hi, jean.”

you were stunned. you couldn’t see who it was because you were in the kitchen, and one of its walls blocked you from seeing the person standing at your doorway.

your father returned to the kitchen, smiling as he gestured towards the front door of your house.

“your boyfriend’s here.” 

you furrowed your eyebrows, baffled. jean shouldn’t have been home until 3 pm today, but here he was, standing at your doorway. hesitant but curios, you stood up from your chair to walk towards the front door.

and it really was jean, standing in front of you with a khaki hoodie and black sweatpants on, smiling.

—

he bent lower and leaned closer to give you a kiss, but you slightly backed away as you folded your arms across your chest.

“hey baby,” he softly voiced as he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed from the failed kiss attempt that he wanted to make.

“thought you would be here at 7 pm. about 12 hours too early,” you monotoned. jean nervously chuckled, eyes still locked on the person he terribly missed for the past three days.

“i booked a morning flight by myself,” he uttered. due to the feeling that your parents might eavesdrop your conversation, you gestured jean to walk over towards the lawn facing your porch.

“better,” you said, standing on your flip-flops in front of the 6’2 man before you. jean nodded, hands kept in his pockets as he looked down at you.

“i missed you.”

you didn’t reply.

“i booked a morning flight to see you earlier.”

still no replies coming from you.

“okay,” jean sighed, bending to get a closer look of his petite girlfriend. 

“tell me what’s wrong.”

you finally looked up to him when he figured that there was something clouding up your mind, and you sighed. the tears that you suppressed began to form as you thought of the words to speak. you never thought that all it took was a ‘what’s wrong’ to release the emotions you felt.

“i saw connie’s snap story,” you monotoned.

jean’s hands formed a pair of fists when he heard your words. he knew immediately what you were talking about, and he shook his head as he grunted.

“i knew it. that motherfucker.”

he tried to grab you gently by your shoulders, scared if you would refuse to get touched by him again. luckily, this time, you willingly let him console you. your clench jaw loosened as you gazed him softly.

“did you do anything-“

before you could get to the end of your sentence, jean shook his head as he looked into your eyes hopefully. 

“i went to my room, then i booked a flight here. i knew you would be upset, and i didn’t wanna lose you. that’s why i’m here,” he uttered reassuringly.

he decided that he didn’t like seeing you this way, the first time you refused to look him in the eye when you were jealous of mikasa. it tormented him in every way he could think of, that he could not even understand the questions you gave him during the mentoring sessions the both of you had. that was why he ended up scoring a B+; he thought of you most of the time, that he couldn’t even fathom the third law of newton at that point.

upon hearing his words, you eventually broke down. you were overwhelmed by everything that was going on for the past three days; jean not being around, possibly moving to new york, connie’s snap story. 

and just when he pulled you closer into his embrace, you knew you couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to be this way. i know i made you worry, but so many things have taken place and i just can’t imagine life without you anymore.”

jean caressed your head as you sniveled on his chest, wetting his hoodie with your salty tears.

he shook his head, kissing the top of your head and rested his lips on it.

“you don’t have to be sorry. no one would not feel what you felt if the same thing happens to them, and i apologize for not explaining the situation to you beforehand,” he spoke, tone so soft and gentle that you began to feel collected.

“and the fact that we might not be together next year.. i just don’t think i can handle that, jean. and i am scared, truly scared of how our relationship would be if i do get into NYU and you would be in UCLA,” you closed your eyes, listening to his heart beat as you weeped. 

sometimes, you truly felt like you didn’t deserve someone like jean, especially when you were so insecure that you couldn’t even think of a girl smiling towards him. so, how? how would you be able to live 2,445 miles away from him? how would you be able to tolerate the time zone that would obviously get in the way of your relationship? 

“hey..”

jean pulled away from the embrace, holding you on your shoulders as he looked you right in the eye. you blinked your tears away, trying to regain your clear eye sight as you looked at your boyfriend.

“i’ll talk to your parents, alright? i’ll do anything i can to make sure that you would be in UCLA too. i’ll do my best, i promise.”

promise is a complex word. most of the time, it is taken for granted due to the responsibilities that come with keeping it. but to jean, this was genuine. and he intended to stick to it for as long as he tried to, because he cared for you, dearly. 

and he decided so when he couldn’t bear to keep his distance from you. when you told him that you wouldn’t see him anymore for the mentoring sessions, he couldn’t tell why he was utterly devastated, to say the least. he couldn’t tell why he stopped looking out for mikasa, but finding himself looking out for you instead.

jean released your shoulders and reached for your hands instead, which were trembling due to crying.

he smiled softly as he looked down towards you. you looked up to him, returning the smile that he had been giving you for the last few moments.

“i love you,” he uttered, for the first time since you had been dating for a year now. you were dazed, as you always thought of the day where he would say those three words to you, and little did you know that it would come today.

jean smiled reassuringly, his thumbs caressing the back of your hands as he gazed the girl before him. he knew that those three words might seem overwhelming, but he also was certain that this was the right time to tell you. this was the definite time to let you know that you were his world, and he was willing to fight anything that could get between the two of you. 

you smiled and looked down at your intertwined hands, noticing a shiny string on jean’s left wrist. you pulled his hoodie’s sleeve up slightly, revealing a silver hand chain with your initial on it. 

“what is this..?” you asked, genuinely curios as you never saw this hand chain on jean before. he was also not a hand chain person, he preferred neck chains most of the time.

“oh!” 

jean exclaimed, before releasing his hands from yours to dig into the pockets of his sweatpants. his action and expression reminded you of the time when he wanted to hand you a ticket to his match, one year ago.

he smiled as he successfully retrieved a little purple velvet box from his right pocket. he handed it over to you, and you gladly took the box before opening it, to reveal a beautiful silver necklace with the letter ‘j’ as the locket. 

“jean..,” you voiced, awed by the thoughtful gift as you looked up to your boyfriend. 

“here, may i?” jean gestured for the box. you knew what he wanted to do, and nodded as you turned your back against him. a shy smile carved on your lips as you did so.

he lifted your ponytail and you grabbed it, enabling him to place the necklace around your neck without any interruptions. within 30 seconds, your neck was now decorated with a scintillating silver necklace, with your boyfriend’s initial as its locket.

upon placing the necklace around you, jean wrapped his arms around your waist. his chin rested on your head, because he was too tall to place it on your shoulder.

“that’s to take our names with us wherever we go, so no matter what, you and i will always be reminded of each other,” he uttered, kissing the top of your head. you smiled as you looked up to him, and he gladly responded with a kiss on your forehead.

“do you want pancakes? my mom’s making some,” you perked your brows up as you looked into his light colored irises. he nodded hastily.

“starving,” he teasingly pouted and you giggled at your boyfriend’s childlike behavior.

“come, let’s go,” you released yourself from his hug and held out your hand, to which he willingly took before walking inside your house for some breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was planning to do a one-shot sequel, but i thought that it would be too lengthy for a chapter. anyway, thank you so much for reading, and i hope you truly enjoyed this story! please share your thoughts, i would love to read them <3


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